{"id":28000,"date":"2026-10-22T22:24:19","date_gmt":"2026-10-22T22:24:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/news\/?p=28000"},"modified":"2026-10-22T22:28:54","modified_gmt":"2026-10-22T22:28:54","slug":"restorative-conversations-workshop","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/news\/2026\/restorative-conversations-workshop\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018Restorative Conversations Workshop\u2019 held in Northern Indiana District"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Jay Wittmeyer (at left) and Bev Weaver, chair of the Shalom Team of the Church of the Brethren\u2019s Northern Indiana District. Photo by Frank Ramirez<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n
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By Frank Ramirez<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Talk about Towering Babel. It happens when a Boomer asks for coffee in a restaurant and the Gen Z waiter waits for some clarification because for them asking for coffee is like asking for a potato. And it just might elicit the Gen Z Stare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Same planet. Different worlds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At least that\u2019s according to Jay Wittmeyer, well known in Church of the Brethren circles as a former Global Mission executive, currently executive director of the Lombard (Ill.) Mennonite Peace Center. Wittmeyer was leading a workshop titled \u201cRestorative Conversations\u201d on Aug. 29 at Rock Run Church of the Brethren outside of Goshen, Ind. He was there at the request of the congregation and the Shalom Team of the Church of the Brethren\u2019s Northern Indiana District.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wittmeyer shared the above coffee order story as an illustration of what he called \u201cthe challenge of the normative,\u201d about how very different expectations make conversation difficult among people who think of themselves as similar. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

He explained that those in the \u201cBoomer\u201d generation think of coffee as served black in a refillable cup, with sweeteners and creamers at the table to be used at the consumer\u2019s discretion. However, just as most of us would specify if we wanted our potato baked, French fried, home fried, or as hash-browns, a Gen Z waiter expects customers to specify how they want their coffee served\u2014hot, cold, iced, with various added flavors, creamers, whips, and other additives. The \u201cGen Z Stare\u201d is in lieu of pointless conversation, because, after all, as one of those in the Gen Z generation may be thinking, \u201cI\u2019m not your circus monkey.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generational differences are just a few of the many barriers preventing communication between well-meaning folk who think they have a lot in common, Wittmeyer said. There are even more barriers between people of less goodwill.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

He began the day-long workshop listing three things Anabaptist Christians might agree about: Jesus is the center of our faith, community is the center of our lives, and reconciliation is the center of work. He then carefully explicated the scripture passage from Ephesians 4:2-6 in light of the difficult work the Apostle Paul faced encouraging the multicultural, multiethnic churches of Ephesus. It\u2019s not as easy as one thinks to bear each other with love, maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace, while sharing a call.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For them, or for us<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Recalling his work in Nepal and Bangladesh, Wittmeyer suggested it is easier to recognize cultural differences among people with radically different national backgrounds. In the US, we mistakenly assume we share the same attitudes, aims, and goals. Sociologists and historians suggest that the several migrations to this continent have created at least 11 distinct regions with their own cultural viewpoints and expectations. People of goodwill with different histories and different expectations may use the same words and yet speak totally different languages. We can\u2019t assume we\u2019re all on the same page, working together to advance the work of Christ.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition to regional and cultural differences, Wittmeyer outlined how the variously defined generations have very different expectations about goals and timelines when it comes to life, as well as outlooks on meeting the expectations of others\u2014from the Silent Generation and the Boomers through Gen X, Millennials, Gen Z, and the Alpha Generation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whereas some Christians would affirm the statement, \u201cChurch embodies the radical nature of Jesus, upending the power of injustice,\u201d others would affirm, \u201cChurch is the institution that embodies Judeo-Chrisian culture and values.\u201d But most would find themselves at different places on a spectrum between those poles, and this hinders conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For some the easiest answer is simply to say nothing in an uneasy peace, or to walk away from the conflict. \u201cAn unhealthy peace is as damaging to human connection as unhealthy conflict,\u201d Wittmeyer said, quoting Priya Parker.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, constructive conversation in the form of Story Circles, in which church members avoid making assumptions, listen and speak respectfully, presume positive intent, and refrain from judgmental or critical comment can lead to fruitful growth. Attendees were split into groups to experience Story Circles, sharing key experiences in intercultural and interracial relationships, reporting positive results afterwards.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

— Frank Ramirez is a retired pastor and minister in the Church of the Brethren, and a frequent contributor to Newsline and to the Church of the Brethren <\/em>Messenger magazine.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

———-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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