{"id":23983,"date":"2024-07-06T06:13:02","date_gmt":"2024-07-06T06:13:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/news\/?p=23983"},"modified":"2024-07-06T06:13:24","modified_gmt":"2024-07-06T06:13:24","slug":"womaens-caucus-dinner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/news\/2024\/womaens-caucus-dinner\/","title":{"rendered":"Womaen\u2019s Caucus dinner offers space for an important story of grief and generational trauma"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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By Virginia Rendler<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On July 4, I attended the Womaen\u2019s Caucus Dinner to hear Heidi Ramer share about her mother\u2019s experience of sexual assault and trauma within the Church of the Brethren. If you\u2019re not familiar with the story, I encourage you to pick up a copy of Her Words, My Voice<\/em> by Heidi Ramer, which includes excerpts from her mother Karen\u2019s personal diaries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is not my story to tell, but it is an important story and a part of our denominational history. I can share here what I took from the story, and how it felt to be in the room listening to Ramer\u2019s description of grief and generational trauma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ramer talked about being welcome and worthy, which is the theme of our Conference. She posed questions to both herself and the audience: What do the words \u201cwelcome and worthy\u201d mean? What does a welcoming home or church community look like?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Heidi Ramer speaks at the Womaen’s Caucus dinner. Photo by Chris Brumbaugh-Cayford<\/em> <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

And, of course, I couldn\u2019t help thinking: How does that apply to situations of assault?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ramer shared a definition of safety that connects to our Conference theme: safety means feeling like one is worthy of protection. From her talk, I gathered that both Ramer and her mother have had experiences of feeling welcome and worthy in the Church of the Brethren, and experiences of being made to feel unwelcome and unsafe. Unworthy of the protection of the church. Perhaps some of us can relate to that, in the Church of the Brethren or in other spaces.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m somewhat of a newcomer to the Church of the Brethren, and I didn\u2019t know Karen\u2019s story before this year. This denomination consistently makes me feel welcome and worthy, which is what first called me to be a member. It was painful to hear the stories of people who have not been afforded this privilege.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have ever felt unsafe, unworthy, or unwelcome in a space of worship, you are not alone. There is still work to be done. This work is hard, but our community is worthy of the rewards of this difficult reckoning. And if you have had the privilege, as I have, of feeling safe, welcome, and worthy in this church, I believe it is due in no small part to Karen\u2019s words and her daughter\u2019s courage to share them. I want to express my profound gratitude to both of them, especially as a young woman in the church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In 2001, Ramer received her mother\u2019s journals, telling Karen\u2019s life story in \u201cimmaculate detail.\u201d She shared the question this raised for her: Was receiving this story, this painful truth, a treasure or a curse?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we face traumatic realities together, we grow stronger, and our community becomes more connected. People like Ramer sharing their stories, or the stories of their families, give us a gift in the form of an opportunity. Opportunity for deeper and more honest connection to each other, connection to our shared humanity, and connection to our future and our past. As Ramer said, the truth strengthens and restores. But it can only do so when the truth is believed, and when lived experiences are given respect and weight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This knowledge of one another\u2019s suffering, that we as members of a faith community are called to bear together–what a curse, what a treasure. We need God to bear this curse with us, and to share this treasure–and we need one another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

#cobac2024<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On July 4, I attended the Womaen\u2019s Caucus Dinner to hear Heidi Ramer share about her mother\u2019s experience of sexual assault and trauma within the Church of the Brethren. If you\u2019re not familiar with the story, I encourage you to pick up a copy of Her Words, My Voice by Heidi Ramer, which includes excerpts from her mother Karen\u2019s personal diaries.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":23984,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":[],"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1703],"tags":[1258,2886,3048,3049],"wf_post_folders":[],"class_list":["post-23983","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-church-of-the-brethren-newsline","tag-annual-conference","tag-annual-conference-2024","tag-heidi-ramer","tag-her-words-my-voice"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23983","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23983"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23983\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23985,"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23983\/revisions\/23985"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/23984"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23983"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23983"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23983"},{"taxonomy":"wf_post_folders","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/wf_post_folders?post=23983"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}