{"id":968,"date":"2019-05-02T17:48:30","date_gmt":"2019-05-02T17:48:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/new.brethren.org\/messenger\/?p=968"},"modified":"2019-08-07T17:49:40","modified_gmt":"2019-08-07T17:49:40","slug":"connecting-through-song-forgetful-friends-chorus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/messenger\/uncategorized\/connecting-through-song-forgetful-friends-chorus\/","title":{"rendered":"Connecting through song: Forgetful Friends Chorus"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed-youtube wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Forgetful Friends Chorus: Bicycle built for two\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/kGJNzDLOzo8?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>What were the songs of your childhood?<\/strong>&nbsp;Which music brings back instant memories of family trips, the feel of humid nights, the smell of smoky campfires? What hymns did you hear over and over?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Music can be a powerful tool for people with dementia. Those with Alzheimer\u2019s disease may have trouble with words, whether spoken or written, but music uses different pathways in the brain than language. Memory loss strikes \u201clast in, first out,\u201d the brain failing to register new information, while quickly serving up memories from years past. These factors combine to mean that even someone who can no longer carry on a conversation may still accurately sing every word of an old, treasured song.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Manassas (Va.) Church of the Brethren and the Alzheimer\u2019s Association have sponsored the Forgetful Friends Chorus since 2016. About 25 people, some with dementia, their care partners, and friends, rehearse every other week and sing together at venues around the area. In 2018, the group performed at the Walk to End Alzheimer\u2019s Disease, the Northern Virginia Dementia Care Consortium Caregivers Conference, several retirement communities and assisted living facilities, Nathan\u2019s Dairy Bar, and a celebration of life service for a former member.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Recently at HarborChase of Prince William Commons, in Woodbridge, Va., 15 singers milled around a large lobby, admiring the silk flower arrangements, large square paintings, and geometrically carved wooden pillars. They helped each other tie on cheerful purple scarves with white polka dots (women) and purple bow ties (men): purple for Alzheimer\u2019s awareness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cLook how cute her scarf is. I tied it!\u201d one member commented several times. \u201cDoes mine look okay?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cHi!\u201d a friendly singer offered. \u201cDid I already say that?\u201d (Yes).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI like your skirt! Did I already say that?\u201d (Yes).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As they waited for director Susan Dommer and accompanist Linda Hollinger to finalize the stage setup, propping a keyboard up with a pillow, chorus members sang through some of their numbers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cLet me call you sweetheart, I\u2019m in love with you!\u201d A couple leaned in and pointed to each other while singing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cSee?\u201d another member whispered. \u201cI told you to watch those two sing together!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Genuine affection warmed hearts.excitement, and enthusiasm filled the room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed-youtube wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Forgetful Friends Chorus: Let me call you sweetheart\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/zop6vHmN8s0?list=PLPwg6iPFotfgODA--ngRc4zKrf34MY66R\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Moving through a locked door into the memory care unit, the group sang songs from the early- and mid-1900s: \u201cBill Bailey,\u201d \u201cRocking Around the Clock,\u201d \u201cWhen Irish Eyes Are Smiling,\u201d \u201cDaisy (Bicycle Built for Two)\u201d with an original verse created by the chorus. Occasionally a caregiver leaned over to help someone turn a page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Residents tapped their feet, swayed, and sang along\u2014and so did the nursing staff accompanying them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At the end of the performance, the chorus spread out to warmly greet audience members.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As longtime Manassas Church of the Brethren member Zenella Radford says about the chorus, \u201cIt\u2019s exciting and fun. I like to talk to people!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The difficulty of living with someone becoming increasingly lost shows up in small ways and in longer conversations. After the performance, one member talked about meeting his wife in a college choir. \u201cShe was the best singer in her year,\u201d he said. \u201cNow she can\u2019t remember anything. Tomorrow she won\u2019t remember this happened.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that 5.7 million Americans were living with Alzheimer\u2019s disease in 2018, with 80 percent receiving care at home. Informal or unpaid caregiving can bring high levels of depression and anxiety, as well as poor health and economic hardships for caregivers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Forgetful Friends Chorus exists for caregivers as well as those with dementia. It provides opportunities to socialize, make friends, find acceptance, sing, and serve others. It provides moments of connection, bringing joy to singers and audience alike.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s so much fun when the audience members sing along,\u201d director Susan Dommer says. \u201cI know this could grow even more. We go to nursing homes and people are like, \u2018We would love to do this!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When Forgetful Friends Chorus began, it was one of just four choruses in the US for individuals with dementia. Connie Young, the operations director\u2014or, as Dommer says, \u201cour \u2018roadie\u2019 and manager\u201d\u2014first ran across the Giving Voice Chorus in Minnesota, which provided information to help Forgetful Friends get started. Since that time, the number of similar groups has grown to more than 70, as people recognize the valuable role the choruses play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A recent article from Religion News Service on dementia and religion posed the poignant question, \u201cWhat if I forget about God?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The article quoted geropsychologist Benjamin Mast: \u201cIf you ask a person who\u2019s been deeply affected by Alzheimer\u2019s about something that happened yesterday, you\u2019re going to their weakness in terms of memory. But if we can engage them, for example, in the context of faith services with older songs and hymns that they\u2019ve known for many years, we\u2019re meeting them where they\u2019re strong.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"text-align:center\"><em>Can a woman forget her nursing child,<br>or show no compassion for the child of her womb?<br>Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.<br>See, I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands.<br>\u2014Isaiah 49:15-16<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>No matter how much we forget, God remembers us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Manassas Church of the Brethren, through the Forgetful Friends Chorus, provides an oasis of meaningful connection, a place to be remembered, and loved, and appreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Want to start a chorus?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Giving Voice Chorus offers a toolkit at&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/givingvoicechorus.org\/start-chorus\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">www.givingvoicechorus.org\/start-chorus<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Forgetful Friends director Susan Dommer recommends getting in touch with the local branch of the Alzheimer\u2019s Association. Go to&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.alz.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">www.alz.org<\/a>&nbsp;and look for \u201cYour Chapter\u201d to find out if there is already a group in the area or if the local representative knows of people who would be interested in joining.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Memory Caf\u00e9s are additional places to find potential members. These are dementia-friendly gatherings, often held monthly. Search online to see if any are nearby.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Listen to the Forgetful Friends Chorus sing favorite songs!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[81],"class_list":["post-968","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-jan-fischer-bachman"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/messenger\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/968","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/messenger\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/messenger\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/messenger\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/messenger\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=968"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/messenger\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/968\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":970,"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/messenger\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/968\/revisions\/970"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/messenger\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=968"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/messenger\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=968"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brethren.org\/messenger\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=968"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}