Selected articles and online-only features from the Church of the Brethren’s official magazine

April 3, 2019

Will it blend?

Blender

Among the many quirky videos on YouTube is a series “Will it blend?” The series demonstrates the power of a particular blender by trying to blend glow sticks, golf balls, light bulbs, a crowbar, an Amazon Echo, an iPhoneX, and a lot more.

Messenger tries our own version of “Will it blend?” by mixing two Church of the Brethren congregations or one congregation and a company to yield a hypothetical new congregation. (Well, a few results are real congregations. See if you can spot them.)

Our apologies to those congregations that we tossed into the blender. More apologies to those that didn’t get chosen. If we made any mistakes, we were probably just a little mixed up.


Paint Creek church + Blue Ball church = Paint Ball Church of the Brethren

Prices Creek church + Free Spring church = The Price Is Right Church of the Brethren

Big Dam church + Hoover Vacuum Co. = Hoover Dam Church of the Brethren

Hanging Rock church + Endless Caverns church = Spelunking Church of the Brethren

Shady Grove church + Sunrise church = Partly Cloudy Church of the Brethren

Blue River church + Yellow Creek church = Green Tree Church of the Brethren

Happy Corner church + McDonalds = Happy Meal Church of the Brethren

Damascus church + Roadway Trucking = Damascus Road Church of the Brethren

Ten Mile church + Four Mile church = Long Run Valley Church of the Brethren

Twenty-eighth Street church + Simon and Garfunkel = Fifty-ninth Street Church of the Brethren

Lower Claar church + Upper Claar church = Center Church of the Brethren

Empire church + Star Wars = The Empire Strikes Back Church of the Brethren

Paradise church + Hades church = Eternity Church of the Brethren

Mack Memorial church + UPS = Mack Truck Church of the Brethren

Eden church + Snake Spring church = Paradise Lost Church of the Brethren

Spruce Run church + Better Homes & Gardens = Spruced-up Church of the Brethren

Old Furnace church + Chicago Fire Soccer Team = Fiery Furnace Church of the Brethren

Bean Settlement church + Campbell’s = Pork and Beans Church of the Brethren

Community of Joy church + Pilgrim’s Pride = Pride and Joy Church of the Brethren

Dry Run church + State College church = Dry State Church of the Brethren

Burks Fork church + Chicago Cutlery = Fork and Knife Church of the Brethren

Monitor church + Pampers = Baby Monitor Church of the Brethren

Black Rock church + King’s Hawaiian = Rock and Roll Church of the Brethren

Modesto church + Disneyland = Modest Mouse Church of the Brethren

Live Oak church + Brooklyn First church = Live from New York Church of the Brethren

Olympic View church + J.R.R. Tolkien = Olympic Rings Church of the Brethren

Three Springs church + Dippin Dots = Triple Dip Church of the Brethren

Living Stone church + Henry Morton Stanley = Living Stone, I Presume Church of the Brethren

Circle of Peace church + Super Glue = Circle Be Unbroken Church of the Brethren

South Bay Community church + the Internet = eBay Church of the Brethren

Yellow Creek church + 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea = Yellow Submarine Church of the Brethren

Maple Spring church + Notre Dame = Irish Spring Church of the Brethren

Spring Creek church + Summerdean church + Upper Fall Creek church + Winter Park church = Four Seasons Church of the Brethren

University Park church + Rock Run church = School of Rock Church of the Brethren

Green Hill church + Velveeta = Green Cheese Church of the Brethren

Snow Creek church + Sunnyslope church + Lake Breeze church = The Weather Channel Church of the Brethren

Manchester church + Free Union church = Manchester United Church of the Brethren

Sugar Valley church + Cherry Valley church = Cordial Cherry Church of the Brethren

Oakley Brick church + Hurricane Creek church = Big Bad Wolf Church of the Brethren

Big Sky church + Lone Star church = Constellation Church of the Brethren

Lick Creek church + Ben & Jerry’s = Ice Cream Cone Church of the Brethren

Bear Creek church + Wind Cave National Park = Hibernation Church of the Brethren

Guernsey Church of the Brethren + Geiger Church of the Brethren = Milkshake Church of the Brethren

Beaver Church of the Brethren + Big Dam Church of the Brethren = Lake Side Church of the Brethren

Blue Ball church + International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers = Ball and Socket Church of the Brethren