Some Harsh Realities in the Search for Aged Wisdom
Norman Harsh
May 1, 2003

The following reports belie much forethought, and much good fortune, shared in the hope that others might enjoy an altogether “harsh” story and improve their own processes of forethought about aging and retirement.

Even though some friends reminded me that the word “retire” is absent from the Biblical record, I nevertheless felt programmed well beforehand to expect “full” retirement at or about the time of my 65th birthday.

So, at age 60 I accepted the invitation of the Lorida Church of the Brethren in Florida to become their pastor. For the previous five years I had been privileged to serve in the Blacksburg, Virginia community where everything revolved around young people and the research and development programs of a technical university aimed at creating the best-possible life in a changing world. The move from Virginia to Florida was a test of adaptability that would lead eventually to my becoming a “snowbird”, those who spend winters in the South and summers “up North”. Across the street from the Lorida church facilities was The Palms Estates, one of 20+ Church of the Brethren retirement communities. At Lorida they had a saying, “If a baby ever cries in this church, rush it up to the microphone so everyone can hear it.” Thanks to a dedicated Hoosier senior who was not a resident of the retirement community, a nursery for the children of young adults soon became a reality, but Lorida remained generally known as “the old peoples’ church” where I soon became immersed in a free education of planning for retirement.

Part of that education derived from appropriate reading; a major portion evolved out of delightful and generous personal relationships.

Lesson 1: What’s important is not what you retire from, but what you retire to. In retrospect, it might have been easier FOR ME to continue in pastoral ministry (interims, part-times, etc.), doing what was familiar. In point of fact, I never succeeded in consciously retiring to anything more than the “chance” opportunities that came my way.

Lesson 2: Travel while you are able. In 1974 we had participated in a travel tour, with Israel as one of the primary destinations, so we were alert to reports from our new retired friends about where all they had been. Some of them, now disabled, had practiced what they preached and were influential in making it possible for us to take vacation travels to Alaska, Hawaii, and China (where my oldest brother, Alva, had served as a missionary in the mid-30's). To be sure “Arthur itis” soon proved their point.

Lesson 3: It never gets any easier. How often we have listened to folks with plans and hopes that could never be realized because the passing of time contributed to diminished capacities that made them unable to accomplish their intent. Only recently at Friendship Manor (our summer retirement community home) a neighbor reported on a friend who had just moved to our community, having put it off until they are no longer able to enjoy the social activities and other benefits of a continuing care community; now they feel “forced” into accepting provision for their changing needs for care. When I hear someone say, “Some day I am going to ... ”, my observation is that it will be harder and harder (and eventually impossible) to get it done, so “do it now”. While living in a retirement community (and nursing home) is not in everyone’s future, we are thankful for the opportunities afforded us by these ministries of the church.

Lesson 4: It takes money to survive aging. The idea of “using money to make money” came into my awareness (and still imperfect comprehension) only when I started calculating pension prospects. I grew up with the understanding that money is a reward for labor and that saving was for the purpose of surviving a “rainy day”. Studying the scriptures and understanding human behavior were “OK” pursuits for pastors; following Wall Street and studying the implications of compounding variable interest rates was not a seminary course when I was a student at Bethany. I suspect that most Church of the Brethren pastors have little awareness of our debt to the likes of Elmer Hersch, Spencer Minnich and Harl Russell who promoted and shepherded the concept of a pension plan for our denomination. The one “defect” in our plan is that one’s pension stays at a fixed amount to the end of one’s life; there is no provision for automatic “cost of living” increases. There are ways to mitigate that defect which pension fund planners can helpfully arrange, but the initiative for such conversations rests with the prospective pensioner.

Lesson 5: Moving from being a “professional” to “servant” puts one in good company. A few years ago I was asked to prepare introductions for the speakers at NOAC 2000, so I sought information from each one. In the material sent to me by Bob Neff, mention was made of his widely-admired teaching and administrative roles, followed by the report that he now serves as a deacon at his church. That report made me aware of several colleagues, former pastors, who are serving as deacons, church board members, ushers, etc. One former pastor (male) I know recently was seen in the church kitchen kneading communion bread.

Lesson 6: Exercise and dietary choices contribute to good health. I grew up with the understanding that expenditure of energy should result in some tangible result – a table made, weeds removed from the garden, helping a neighbor, etc. It has taken awhile to entertain the notion that exercising for the sake of health qualifies as a provider of a “tangible result”, but a recently-lowered cholesterol reading helped me be convinced.

So what have I “done” in retirement. I’ve planted and harvested gardens in Florida and Virginia, reminding my golfing friends that I get to “eat my golf balls”. I’ve enjoyed the companionship of a good wife. I signed on with the Association of Brethren Caregivers as a counselor to utilize Long Term Care insurance as a component in retirement planning; having to “go to school” to procure the appropriate license was a discipline that suggests the value of trying something entirely different and new for possibly two to ten-year time horizons. I’ve served on a variety of committees and boards. I’ve been a volunteer at camps, disaster relief projects, soup kitchens, etc. I’ve done supply preaching in Florida and Virginia. I satisfied a long-standing curiosity by developing a questionnaire for nationwide distribution to learn about varieties of Love Feast and Communion practices; this resulted in publication of a report, “Not So Trivial Devotions”, a resource for pastors and deacons. I’ve “progressed” from an early Commodore Amiga computer system thru two Windows 95/98 desktops to a laptop loaded with Windows XP Professional. (Every one of those computers “knew” far more than I ever managed to put to work; they each had the capacity for enlarging one’s horizons.) When I served on the NOAC 2002 steering committee and used e-mail as a primary communications tool, I had to think back to my days at Manchester College when, as president of BSCM (Brethren Student Christian Movement), the planning of the annual Thanksgiving conference was accomplished via snail mail and a Royal portable typewriter with onion skin and carbon paper.

When I retired at age 65 it suddenly dawned on me that I might still have 1/3 of my life ahead of me. I can remember both of my grandfathers who lived into their upper 80's and early 90's, so my genetic pool and health condition at age 65 made me wonder if I had “hung it up” a bit early. Now, as milestone 77 nears, the current “wisdom” says that anyone age 75 and in good health had best plan finances and other affairs with the expectation of celebrating their 100th birthday – which means that I should anticipate seeing the birth of our great granddaughter’s children. No doubt, those intervening years will see an increased emphasis on “being” as opposed to “doing”, so this old activist will surely have some new lessons to learn as dependency on family, friends, and institutions (like long term care insurance) increases. What courses of study and diplomas are offered by Bethany and Brethren Benefit Trust (in exchange for an interest in our wills!) for all that we elders had best be learning? Where’s the help we need, for example, to prepare for humane, respectful, and cost-effective approaches to death and dying? Years ago I depended on church leaders to “dream up” a pension plan from which I have benefitted so much; without the prodding of thoughtful and Spirit-led church leaders my readiness for dying may be equally short-sighted.