| Title | Author |
|---|---|
| Aging with Integrity | Anita Smith Buckwalter |
| Aging in the Presence of God | Bob Bitner |
| The Wisdom of Aging | Leah Oxley Harness |
| Full and Abundant Aging | Levi J. Ziegler |
| Journey into Wisdom | Wally Landes |
Psalm 90:1-6; 1 Peter 2:1-3; Mark 10:14b; Mark 10:15; 1 Corinthians 13:11-12; Ephesians 4:15-16; Psalm 71:5-21
When we are children we can’t wait to grow up. Many of us eagerly count the months, the weeks, the days until we can date or drive a car. We look forward to getting a job and our own place to live. At some point we begin to feel as though time is passing too quickly and we wish we could slow things down as we watch our children grow up and move out, or we get near retirement and think of all those dreams that look as though they will never happen.
Aging — it happens to all of us. It begins the moment we are born and continues until we die. We don’t usually call it aging until sometime in midlife. Early in life we call it growing up or maturing and it is a positive thing. When we feel like we are losing stamina, physical strength and flexibility, or mental ability then we call it aging and feel upset about it.
The aspects of aging which we fear or would like to avoid such as illness, lessening of energy, increased dependence on others, the threat and certainty of death are really nothing new. They are the natural, ever-present realities of what it means to be living human beings. Pain and illness are not strangers to the young; our reserves of bodily energy have always been limited; we are dependent on others throughout our lives; and death has always been a certainty. In youth it is easier (at least for some) to ignore the facts of our finitude, to pretend that they are unimportant. When we grow older, it becomes difficult to keep up the pretense. It is also easier to maintain the illusion that we have immunity from illness, disability, dependency and death when we have plenty of material resources. In poor, less developed parts of the world people witness daily these givens of human life.
So how do we cope with this uncertain endeavor we call life and especially with the lengthening of our days and years?
I’d like to share the reflections of two different women. The first is well-known author, Madeleine L’Engle from her book, A Circle of Quiet. She writes:
I am still every age that I have been. Because I was once a child, I am always a child. Because I was once a searching adolescent, given to moods and ecstasies, these are still part of me, and always will be. Because I was once a rebellious student, there is and always will be in me the student crying out for reform.
This does not mean that I ought to be trapped or enclosed in any of these ages, the perpetual student, the delayed adolescent, the childish adult, but they are in me to be drawn on; to forget is a form of suicide; my past is part of what makes the present Madeleine and must not be denied or rejected or forgotten.
Far too many people misunderstand what putting away childish things means, and think that forgetting what it is like to think and feel and touch and smell and taste and see and hear like a three-year-old or a thirteen-year-old or a twenty-three-year-old means being grownup.
When I’m with these people I, like the kids, feel that if this is what it means to be a grownup, then I don’t ever want to be one.
“Instead of which, if I can retain a child’s awareness and joy, and be fifty-one, then I will really learn what it means to be grownup. I still have a long way to go.
Certainly an important aspect of aging with integrity is integrating what has happened to us in the past with the needs of the present. We can sort our life experiences — deciding what we want to keep, what is still useful to us in the present, what is out-of-date and what we need to let go of. In this process of sifting and learning from our past we gain wisdom and often a sense of peace.
Another woman tells this story:
I remember when I said out loud to myself, “You’re old!” I do not recall the exact date, but I remember the event vividly. In retrospect, I believe that I uttered my declaration of independence in defiance of a television commercial that I had just heard in which someone had exclaimed that she was not old, was not going to be old, and in short, seemed to be promising to live forever. I was indignant at her denial of an inevitable reality, and I said to the commercial, “You’re so busy trying to recapture the fantasy of youth that you’re wasting the reality of age and the life it has given you!”
When I went to the mirror, looked myself straight in the eye, and said, ‘I’m old!’ it became real. But the corners of my mouth were turned down, and my frown was grim and joyless. Those two words went downhill all the way to the bottom. Then I said it again; my eyes gleamed, the corners of my mouth turned up in a wide grin, and my voice rang out as if in a proud declaration. That day I learned something important to my being eighty-five — for oldness is very special and very precious; it is not to be denied. We have to make age work for us; we can’t treat it as an enemy.
— Elizabeth Welch, Learning to be 85
To not treat our own aging as an enemy we will be working counter to the values and standard operating procedures of our youth-oriented culture. To advocate for dignity and justice for aging members of our communities will likely put us in conflict with business-as-usual in our society. But treating aging as an enemy and allowing the elders among us to become sidelined or invisible deprives our churches and communities of the rich, full experience of a large segment of the population at a time when pressing global issues require all the wisdom humanity can muster.
To change this negative view, we need an understanding of the realities and possibilities of the second half of people’s lives. But it is difficult to talk about an experience as diverse as aging. In our discussions we tend to veer back and forth, like someone just learning to ride a bicycle, between a consideration of the gifts of aging and a focus on its losses. Is it the best of times or the worst of times? An effort to stress the positive side of aging, naming it “The Golden Years” can mask its adversities. A focus on the problems of aging can obscure its possibilities. We are asked to somehow hold together a paradox encompassing the reality of suffering and loss with the truth of resurrection and new life.
In Autumn Gospel, Kathleen Fischer described it in terms of the seasons. Her life felt like the autumn she was enjoying in nature in early October that year: “The days are gorgeous and full of color,” she said, “but I know that it will be cold at night and get dark earlier. It is a very good time, but more lies behind than ahead. There is a poignancy and sadness along with the happiness.”
Psalm 90:1-6
From Swallow’s Nest by Marchiene Vroon Rienstra, Eerdman’s 1992 (out of print)
All: O God, You have been our home in every generation.
One: Before You gave birth to the earth or the mountains came to be,
You were and are and are to come — God without beginning or end.
All: You made us children of earth, and we return to dust.
One: In Your eyes, a thousand years ago is like yesterday to us.
The ages pass as swiftly for You as nights do for us.
All: Our lives are dreams, dreams that slip away when we awake.
One: We bloom, like flowers, for a day.
Fresh in the morning, we wither and die in the evening.
All: O God, You have been our home in every generation.
From age to age, O God, you bless your people with tender care. In every age, Eternal Wisdom, bless us with your constant companionship and you fiery presence.
— Jan L. Richardson, Sacred Journeys
Leader: Rid yourselves of all malice, and all guile, insincerity, envy and all slander. Like newborn infants, long for the pure, spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow into salvation — if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good. (1 Peter 2:1-3)
Youth and Children: Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me; do not stop them for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. (Mark 10:14b)
Leader: Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it. (Mark 10:15)
Women: For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end.
Men: When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways.
Women: For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face.
Men: Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. (1 Corinthians 13:11-12)
All: Let us speak the truth in love and grow to the full maturity of Christ, the head. Through Christ, the whole body grows. With the proper functioning of each member, firmly joined together by each supporting ligament with which it is equipped, the body grows building itself up in love. (Ephesians 4:15-16)
May you embrace the wisdom of each age with wit, with grace, with power, and with faith. And may the blessing of the God of all ages be with us in youth and old age and fill our mouths with praise for such goodness. Amen.
Psalm 71:5-21
You, El Shaddai, are my only hope.
Since I was a child I have trusted in You.
Since birth I leaned on Your everlasting arms,
You delivered me from my mother’s womb.
I will always praise You!
Because You have been my constant refuge and strength,
I have been a sign of Your saving power for many.
My mouth is filled with songs of Your glory all the day long.
Now that I am old, do not cast me away!
Do not forsake me now that my strength fails.
Hostile people live around me, watching my every move,
They plot and scheme together to harm me.
“God has left her,” they say. “Pursue and seize her.
She has no one to help her.”
O God, do not be far from me.
Come quickly to my rescue, El Shaddai!
Shame those who would put me to shame.
Let those who would hurt me be heaped with disgrace!
As for me, I will hope in You always.
I will praise You more and more without ceasing.
I will speak of Your just deeds and saving acts all the day long,
Though their number is beyond all telling.
I will come and go in Your strength alone, El Shaddai.
I will declare Your generous goodness.
O God, You have been my teacher since I was a youth.
To this day I sing of Your wonders.
Now that I am old and gray, do not forsake me.
I want to declare Your salvation to the coming generation,
For Your power and justice are as great as the heavens.
You are an incomparable God who has done marvelous things.
Though You have let me see trouble and evil multiply,
You have always revived me again,
I know You will continue to grant me well-being,
Will fill me with comfort and calm . . .
— Marchiene Vroon Rienstra, Swallow’s Nest
Great is thy faithfulness (#327)
God of our life (#486)
O God, your constant care (#481)
Lord of our growing years (#479)
Help us to help each other (#362)
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Psalm 16:1-11
Aging, regardless of age or time in one’s life, is a movement from something towards something, and it flows better when one moves in the presence of God. It is possible to experience joy at whatever age one finds themselves, when one is open to living one’s life as being held in God’s right hand.
When we think of a journey, we usually think about traveling from place to another. To be on a journey does not always mean having a “set” destination, but all journeys have movement. Aging is always associated with movement. It is helpful when on a journey to know where we are — to have a sense of direction of where we are going, and memories of where we have been.
Aging is such a journey, regardless of how we perceive the starting point, and the destination. There is movement from where we have been (past age) to where we are (present age), and on to where we are going (future age). Even at a very old age people look forward to the age of eternal life.
Some questions that may be raised as we journey:
Psalm 16:11 speaks to some of these questions. It is an act of personal faith in God’s power to save. Verse 1 is a prayer for deliverance from trouble. In verses 2-8 the Psalmist makes an appeal to God based upon past devotion to God and to the community of the faithful. Verses 9-10 shows the complete confidence the Psalmist has that God will not permit them to perish. In verse 11 the psalmist will survive the journey of aging (the path of life) and, through God’s help, experience joy, and enjoy life’s pleasures again.
As in any journey we have choices along the journey of aging. We can see the journey through the lens of despair, or we can see the journey as one of joy and goodness. Psalm 16 speaks to us that in God’s presence the journey of aging (the path of life) is one of blessing and joy.
One: From ages young and old, and in-between,
All: we come to worship the Lord.
One: It is you, O Lord, who gives us life and guides our paths, as we move from one age to another,
All: and in your right hand we find rest and joy.
One: Make us aware of your presence this day,
All: and open our lives to your glory.
One: Keep us from trouble and despair,
All: for your path leads to joy and life.
O God, you who are the author of all life, and who knows the path of life that lies out before us, we desire to be in your presence. We may come as little children or as older adults, or any age, but we have come desiring to be filled with the joy that comes from being held in your hands of creation. Create in us hearts that can rejoice regardless of where we find ourselves on this path of life. May we receive the blessings of life that flow through the relationships we have with Jesus and with one another. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.
As Jesus gave his life that we might live, so do we live that Jesus might be glorified. Go this day knowing that in Jesus there is a joy and a peace that the world cannot give, neither can it take away. Go and live in that joy and peace.
In the bulb there is a flower (#614)
God sent his son (#345)
Become to us the living bread (#475)
Blessed assurance (#332)
Each morning brings us (#645)
This is the day of new beginnings (#640)
O God, who gives us life (#483)
God of our life (#486)
O God, your constant care (#481)
Lord of our growing years (#479)
My life flows on (#580)
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Proverbs 8; 1 Corinthians 1:20-25; Luke 2:40, 52
To explore the possibility that the wisdom spoken of in Proverbs is available to all of us by listening and following the example of the “wise adults” who are our in our midst. Those who live in nursing homes, assisted living or retirement communities or alone in their homes have much to offer the congregation. What do they have to teach us about our faith journeys?
Often in congregational life, older members are viewed as too traditional, holding the church back or the reason that the congregation doesn’t grow is because they are afraid to relinquish leadership positions. While there can be truth to those issues, there are among us those older adults who have much to contribute, yet are often excluded from those opportunities.
In Proverbs 8, wisdom states that she has been a part of who God is since creation and that we should desire to make wisdom a part of our lives as well. This wisdom is available from the older adults in our congregations.
The sermon could be a challenge to the church board to implement sending youth or young adults to the homes of the older adults and “interview” them about their stories. The questions could focus on learning and wisdom that has been acquired over the years. More active seniors could be invited to be mentors for new members or for the children going through the Christian Education program. Older adults could also be involved in an after school program that provides tutoring in subjects that they are knowledgeable about or able to help with.
Two of our residents shared with me the importance of church life to their journeys. One attributed the importance of her commitment to Christ being taught to her at an early age by her father. This person at age 91 continues to tutor students in reading from her room in a nursing home. The gentleman, who lives in assisted living, stated that whenever there were “surprises” in his life, he learned from them and God gave him the strength to see it through.
Wisdom is knowledge and learning that is a gift from God. During the journey we call “life” many of us have attained wisdom that needs to be shared in the life of the church. What gifts among the older adults of your congregation could be used for “Our Neighbors Good and the Glory of God”?
No. 671 or 822 in Hymnal, A Worship Book
Gracious and loving God, we come to you this morning seeking Wisdom. We ask that you send your Spirit among us so that our eyes may be opened to new truths and new possibilities. Help us to learn from the words we hear today, the value of life experience, the empathy that we gather from Wisdom, the compassion that comes with caring. Grant to us the influence of your Holy Spirit to move amongst us today and call us forth as the Body of Christ. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.
Proverbs 8:32-35
Go seeking Wisdom for all your days. Listen, learn, remember, and keep all these things in your heart and soul and mind. Those who seek wisdom and find her will receive the favor of the Lord. Go in Peace.
Move in our midst (#418)
God of our life (#486)
Open my eyes, that I may see (#517)
When the storms of life are raging (#558)
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Genesis 1: 27-3; John 3:16; John 10:10; Psalm 1:1-3; Luke 12:22-34
Life itself is a journey. God created man and woman to live. Man and woman chose to defy him; thus they will die some day. Until that day comes, God desires us to live fully and abundantly for his glory and our neighbors’ good. He directs us to live fruitfully and faithfully, never giving up or quitting, but always living at the growing edge. We journey through life, plodding along faithfully and persistently. The command given in Genesis 1:26-30, if obeyed, along with the command of Jesus, Matthew 28:18-20 will keep our bodies, minds and spirits active and fruitful, both for the kingdom of God and for the society in which we live.
During the last century society (the church included) has adopted and promoted the concept that retirement from work also means retirement from active living. Not only have we come to the place in the United States where retirement at a certain age is expected, but we also seemingly believe that we may bring our journey in life to a halt at any time and thus cease being fruitful and faithful to him who gives us life. While this is a generalized statement, it typifies a philosophy promoted throughout our land. However, God did not create us to suddenly stop along the journey of life and become do-nothings nor to become couch potatoes or wilting vegetables. Rather we have been created to live fruitfully and faithfully to the charge given to us in the beginning and the additional charge given by Christ. We are given new life in Christ Jesus so that we might live fruitfully and faithfully for him during our entire journey on this earth. Our rebirth through the son, Christ Jesus enables us to live abundantly and in full obedience to our Creator God even as we continue to progress in the aging process.
Leader: The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life. (Job 33:4)
People: We give thee thanks, God of all life.
Leader: With you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light. (Ps. 36:9)
People: With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation. (Ps. 91:16)
Unison: I will sing to the Lord all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. May my meditation be pleasing to him as I rejoice in the Lord. Praise the Lord, O my soul. (Ps. 104: 33-34,35b)
Before your throne, God, our Creator, we assemble on this day to worship you and honor your most holy name. May it be that our meditations and words will be acceptable in your holy sight and that your Holy Spirit will inspire us anew to live fruitfully and abundantly. Open our eyes to new vistas and our ears to the calling which only you, God, can give to each of us. In the name of Jesus. Amen.
May the God of all people, the God of all life inspire and enable you to the extent that your life will give him honor and glory, today and throughout all your days. In the name of him who gives eternal life, Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.
Take my life (#389)
How bless’d are they (#525)
O God, in restless living (#557)
To God be the glory (#102)
Today I live (#607)
Lift every voice and sing (#579)
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Psalm 23 and Psalm 90 (especially, verses 10, 12-17)
Passages from Proverbs dealing with instruction (such as 23:12), understanding (such as 2:2), and knowledge (such as 22:17).
Aging is a journey in so many senses: A journey which leads to physical changes, variations in social life, differing capabilities and, often, significant losses. But spiritually speaking, aging is best understood as a journey into wisdom.
Psalm 90 pleads with God, “Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. There’s something about confronting life’s brevity that brings on a new outlook. We begin to see the world with older eyes, softer, wiser eyes.”
Our learnings are many. One such learning has to do with striving. As the hymn “O God in Restless Living” puts it, “Teach us, beyond our striving, the rich rewards of rest” in the hope that we will be “less wearied with our effort, more aware of power.” Another teaching that hopeful comes with maturation is learning of our interdependence upon one another and God. Yet another learning is about relationships. The journey of youth is toward independence, of middle age toward interdependence (Erickson’s intimacy vs. isolation), but in older age the journey turns to intradependence — trusting one’s self, finding inner peace, savoring serenity, fleeing the frantic rat-race of industrious years. Mental life becomes less rational-cognitive and more reflective/intuitive. As our processing of life and self make the descent from head to heart/gut, God grants us the “heart of wisdom” for which the Psalmist — and all of us — yearn and pray.
Psalm 90 also asks that God will establish the work of our hands. That is to say, “Lord, don’t let my life be in vain — let it matter, let my life make a difference. Help me to leave a positive mark on this world — an influence that pleases you and helps my neighbor. The journey that aging is involves relinquishing so much “doing” and celebrating “being.” Our creativity/industry becomes more the work of the heart, and less the work of the head/hands. Our joy is in mentoring younger persons, assisting them in their journeys, sharing with them the pitfalls, thrills, confusion and clarity that have attended our own way. (The preacher may want to explore Quaker scholar Parker Palmer’s definition of “Way” as a spiritual concept among the Friends in his book, Listen to Your Life.)
An old Native American prayer resonates with the sentiment of Psalm 90’s “heart of wisdom:
O Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the winds and whose breath gives life to all the world, hear me! I am small and weak and I need your strength and wisdom. Let me walk in beauty and make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset. Make my hands respect the things you have made and my ears sharp to hear your voice. Make me wise so that I may understand the things you have taught my people. Let me learn the lessons you have hidden in every leaf and rock. I seek strength not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy — myself. Make me always ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes. So when life fades as the fading sunset, my spirit may come to you without shame.
How akin the last sentence is to the conclusion of the 23rd Psalm! When, along life’s journey, we realize that God’s goodness and mercy have followed us all our days, it makes sense that such an abundant life will continue. It is almost as though the Psalmist has implied a “since-then” formulation: All the days of my life and then I will dwell in the house of the Lord, forever! The preacher would do well to note that the Psalmist says “goodness and mercy follow me . . .” God’s goodness and mercy may attend us all along life’s way, but it is generally in reflection — looking back over the years — that we see God’s hand of goodness (providence) and mercy (grace) most clearly. Typically, wisdom comes late in the journey, and is truly God’s gift to the aged.
Wisdom (Greek, sophia) has feminine attributes. How many old men do we see holding babies and nurturing the young . . . the same men whose young arms were stiff toward children? Wisdom is right brain — how many people take up art, music, gardening and writing in retirement with the reasoning “now I have time to do it,” when wisdom may play a larger role than scheduling? Having squeezed “life” out of life for too many years, wisdom insists that the not miss out totally on life’s vitality! Aging is a journey . . . and if we will let it, it leads us into godly wisdom!
One: Lord teach us to number our days
All: Lord, we are already aware of life’s brevity!
One: Teach us that eternal life begins now, not at some undetermined point in the future.
All: Show us how the abundant life is for this life, as well as for the life that is to come.
One: Lord, when we learn of all your blessings, we confess that life is good and eternal life is even better.
All: Lord, teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom.
We walk by faith (#570)
I am trusting thee, Lord Jesus (#564)
And I will raise you up (#596)
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* Hymns from Hymnal, A Worship Book.
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