Throughout the Bible there is a tension between family understood in terms of blood ties on one-hand and faith relationships on the other. In the creation story humanity was created male and female to overcome loneliness (Genesis 2:18) and to bear children (1:28). The difficulties of family life are immediately evident in blame (3:12-13) and violence (4:8). A particular couple, Abram and Sara, were called by God to bear God's promise (12:1-4). They were in fact a household (12:5). They understood the promise to move through the bloodline of the first born. However Isaac was not Abram's first born (16:15). Neither was Jacob the first born of Isaac, nor Joseph the first born of Jacob. Surprisingly, God's promise moved through Rahab, the prostitute; Ruth, the Moabite; and Bathsheba, a Hittite wife (2 Sam. 11:3). That the true children of Abraham are by faith rather than by blood is a theme that becomes prominent in the New Testament (Rom. 4, Heb. 11).

The Ten Commandments strengthen blood family relationships. The command to honor father and mother bind the generations together, and the commands forbidding adultery and coveting bind husband and wife together (Deut. 5:16, 18, 21). Jesus intensifies the law when he says that lust is equal to adultery (Matt. 5:28), although the command against coveting anticipates Jesus' teaching. Jesus' intensification of the law against adultery must be set beside his teaching about unlimited forgiveness (Matt. 18:21-22). Furthermore, the priority of covenantal relationships rather than blood ties surfaces again when Jesus said that those who do the will of God are his brother, and sister, and mother (Mk 3:35).

In the New Testament singleness is blessed along with marriage. Jesus spoke of singleness for the sake of the kingdom of heaven, and Paul spoke of single persons having more opportunity to serve the Lord (Matt. 19:10-12, 1 Cor. 7). Clearly singleness is not an inferior state of faith. Anabaptists have taught that committing one's life to Christ as a single person is foundational to a marriage covenant.

In the New Testament whole households often come to Christ together (Acts 10, 11, 16, 18). The households would have included not only parents and children, but also extended family members (e.g., grandparents) and servants. The letter to Philemon is an account of a slave Onesimus who fled to Rome, where Paul converted him. Paul called him "my child" (Phlm v. 10). Though by Roman law Onesimus could have been executed as a runaway slave, Paul asked that Philemon receive him back into his household as a brother (v. 16). Here the covenantal relationship in Christ is the foundation for the family, which includes those who live in the same household.

Indeed the church itself is a family who has a common parent, the heavenly Creator of all. The characteristics of the family of God are peacemaking, loving one another, loving enemies, forgiveness, hope, purity, humble obedience, holiness and sanctification. These are to be the virtues of all families that participate in the household of God. Differences are to be resolved by confronting them directly in the family, by forgiving one another, by reconciliation, and by accepting the differences when necessary (Matt. 18:15-22).

We may ask whether the household images are patriarchal, i.e., male dominated. Consider that Jesus treated women as equals (Lk. 10:42; Jn. 4:7 ff). Mary Magdalene was the first to speak to Jesus after the resurrection (Jn. 20:15). Paul received Lydia and her household into the church (Acts 16:15). Apparently Paul received Phoebe as a minister in the church (Rom. 16:1). Scholars may differ, but it seems clear that masculine domination was overcome in Christ, as was slavery, even though it has taken many centuries for these truths to become embodied in family values.

Contemporary Families
The concept of family may be understood in different ways. Its narrowest definition might be a parent or a couple and their children. But very often one or both parents were previously married. Some children may be from the previous marriage or may be adopted. Such families are sometimes called blended families. Let us suggest a simple definition of the family that can fit our time as well as biblical times. A family is a group of persons, normally including a parent or parents and children, who share the same household, are economically interdependent, and are bound together by traditional values and an enduring commitment to one another. Such a definition is uneven in that blood and legal relationships are not necessarily primary. Separated parents under joint custody may share children. Economic interdependence can take various forms. The length of an enduring commitment is not defined, although it is normally lifelong. But these tensions and uneven edges have been with the family household since biblical times.

In the contemporary Western world political, economic and social changes have radically altered the traditional family. Largely rural before the 20th century, extended families supported family values. The 20th century has seen urbanization, multiculturalism, multimedia, mobility and globalization. Most families have fewer children, both parents are employed, and the extended family is not nearby. Many families have only one parent, and frequently these families are under the poverty level. Many births are from unmarried single women, often teenagers. Abortion is a national controversy. Marriage is often across cultural and religious differences. Church attendance has declined. The family faces enormous challenges.

However, the Bible speaks directly to many of the issues of contemporary family life. Life in a family requires a foundational singleness, a commitment of faith, and enduring character. The heart of a family is not first of all its blood relationship, but its covenantal basis. This sets a household within the wider community of faith, which is its primary extended family. A community of faith is therefore very important for a household. Furthermore the community of faith encourages households to reach out to those who do not otherwise have the benefit of family support. Such hospitality is basic to Christian faith.

The Bible calls for an enduring relationship in a family, but it does not compel persons (notably women and children) to remain in an oppressive relationship. The primary task of the family is to nourish and care for the immature, the weak, the elderly, and the underprivileged. But the more mature and the more privileged help the less mature and the underprivileged. Maturity is primarily related to age rather than to gender. Adoption, broadening experiences, and other nurturing activities belong to a family household and are assisted by an extended family of faith.

Where marriage occurs across national, cultural, and religious differences, a family must forge a living covenant to preserve traditional ties where possible and find new enduring relationships where needed. A family works together to address the many tensions that are certain to come. When the close relationship of parent and child is tested, e.g., the teen years, often the wider extended family of faith can help to reconcile those tensions.

Within a world of multimedia and a myriad of possibilities, and with many pressures confronting it, families continue to give rise to a new generation and to help carry an increasingly numerous older generation. However, freedom, independence, technology, economics and much more are changing the traditional family relationships. Nevertheless the virtues of commitment, peacemaking, love, forgiveness, hope, memory, purity, and sanctification are as much needed as ever. Loving households within an extended family of faith still provide the richest source of these virtues. Let us celebrate families.