Several articles in Caregiving provide insight into grief, loss and bereavement. The Fall 2001 issue of Caregiving was dedicated to the theme of Loss and Bereavement. A sidebar in this issue and is reproduced here:

The Journey of Grief

Although people dealing with loss express their grief with varying degrees of emotion, these emotions often take on a common purpose: to serve as a means to eventual acceptance of the loss. Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a psychiatrist who specializes in death and dying, has observed the grieving process as it is dealt with by patients experiencing terminal illnesses. In her book On Death and Dying, Kübler-Ross summarizes these observations in five stages of grief and emphasizes that the presence of hope persists throughout all stages as patients work through the grieving process. Kübler-Ross describes the five stages as:

Denial. “‘No, not me, it cannot be true.’ Denial functions as a buffer after unexpected shocking news, allows the patient to collect himself and, with time, mobilize other, less radical defenses.

Anger. “When denial cannot be maintained any longer, it is replaced by feelings of anger. The logical next question becomes: ‘Why me?’ This anger is displaced in all directions.

Bargaining. “If we have been unable to face the sad facts in the first period and have been angry at people and God in the second phase, maybe we can succeed in entering into some sort of an agreement which may postpone the inevitable happening: ‘If God...did not respond to my angry pleas, he may be more favorable if I ask nicely.’

Depression. “When the patient can no longer deny his illness...he cannot smile it off anymore. His numbness or stoicism, his anger and rage will soon be replaced with a sense of great loss.

Acceptance. “If a patient has had enough time and has been given some help in working through the previously described stages, he will reach a stage during which he is neither depressed nor angry about his ‘fate.’ It is as if the pain had gone [and] the struggle is over.”

Books
Compiled by Richard B. Gilbert, director of Pastoral Care, Sherman Hospital, Elgin, Ill.

Attig, Thomas. The Heart of Grief; Death and the Search for Lasting Love. New York: OUP, 2000.

Curley, Terence. A Way of the Cross for the Bereaved. New York: Alba House, 1996.

Faber, Marta. Finding Your Way When Your Spouse Dies. Notre Dame: Ave Maria Press.

Fitzgerald, Helen. The Mourning Handbook. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1994.

Gilbert, Richard. Finding Your Way After Your Parent Dies; Hope for Adults. Notre Dame: Ave Maria Press, 1999.

Golden, Thomas. Swallowed by a Snake; The Gift of the Masculine Side of Grieving. Kensington, MD: Golden Healing, 1996.

Grollman, Earl. Living When a Loved One Has Died. Boston: Beacon, 1995.

Grollman, Earl. Living with Loss, Healing with Hope: A Jewish Perspective. Boston: Beacon, 2000.

Gryte, Marilyn. Stepping Through the Awkwardness; How to Be Supportive to Those Who Grieve. Omaha: Centering, 2001.

Hope for Bereaved. Hope for Bereaved: Understanding, Coping and Growing Through Grief. Syracuse: Hope for Bereaved, 1995.

Levang, Elizabeth & Ilse, Sherokee. Remembering with Love; Messages of Hope for the First Year of Grieving and Beyond. Minneapolis: Fairview Press, 1992.

Manning, Doug. Thoughts for the Holidays; Finding Permission to Grieve. Oklahoma City: In-Sight, 2001.

Miller, James. One You Love has Died; Ideas for How Your Grief Can Help You Heal. Fort Wayne: Wintergreen, 1998.

Miller, James. When Mourning Dawns; Living Your Way Fully Through the Seasons of Your Grief. Fort Wayne: Wintergreen, 2000.

O’Brien, Mauryeen. Lift Up Your Hearts; Meditations for Those Who Mourn. Chicago: ACTA, 2000.

Smith, Harold Ivan. Grieving the Death of a Friend. Minneapolis: Augsburg, 1996.

Smith, Harold Ivan. When You Don’t Know What to Say; How to Help Your Grieving Friends. Kansas City, MO: Beacon Hill of Kansas City, 2002.

Wezeman, Phyllis and Wezeman, Kenneth. Finding Your Way After Your Child Dies. Notre Dame: Ave Maria Press, 2001.